Leaving New York City
It’s always when you look back that you think to yourself “I should’ve worried less and enjoyed more” but NYC does that to you. Living paycheck by paycheck. Though, I did everything I could, to enjoy NYC to the fullest of my abilities.
I’ve had a pretty good time in the last four years.
I stumbled upon a Mr. Robot and Marvelous Mrs. Maisel set. I went to a concert at the Barclays Center on a first date. I watched an open-air movie overlooking the skyline. I almost got arrested because of a Metrocard. I’ve cried countless times on the subway. I took pictures of the women’s March and randomly met people that were in the picture a couple months later. I dated a man I met on the subway. I hooked up with the drummer of a band the night they were playing at the PlayStation Theater. I worked on Madison Avenue. I visited multiple empty offices in Manhattan. I saw Ralph Lauren during the NYFW. I sang Broadway musicals with Broadway actors at Marie’s Crisis. I danced barefoot at a karaoke bar drunk on margaritas. I saw a Knicks game and saw Spike Lee. I met my favorite muralist. I randomly saw The Rock, the Hemsworths and Tessa Thompson at movie premieres. I was lucky to be able to do many road trips in the surrounding states and cities with friends that feel like family.
Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on a toasted everything bagel with salt and pepper will forever be a breakfast staple. Walking from Crown Heights to Long Island City will forever be engraved in my memories. $1 oysters and painkillers at Sea Wolf. Butter and Sage gnocchis from Gemelli’s. Walking in Central Park, Prospect Park and Maria Hernandez Park to catch up with friends. Escaping the rain thrift shopping. Having a dry cider at Brooklyn Cider House. Being awe-struck every time I see the Empire State Building from the distance. Hugging Franklin Avenue’s pets. All of it will live on in my mind.
I keep going back to the memory of when I first landed In NYC, I was oblivious as to what the next months or years were going to bring. I look back on that memory with fondness and fear. Fear, because change is scary, the unknown is scary.
In the last four years, so much has happened. Friends have come and gone, many different job positions were held, many rooms were slept in. I keep going back to different memories within those last four years like a time machine in my mind.
And soon, the time machine will reset. I wonder where my mind will go then. It’s scary.
I felt at home in the city. There’s something about walking these streets, enveloped by the skyscrapers and the constant noise, that feels like home. It’s difficult but magical all at once. There really is a feeling of possibility in the air and then the endless sound of a car horn yanks you out of your daydream back to reality. A reality of working for companies that don’t offer any benefits, where the wage is barely enough to cover rent, bills and leisure in the city. A reality of heartbreak and loneliness.
New York is tough but strong. Resilient. Fearless. I hope to carry these qualities with me for the rest of my life.
I will heartbreakingly miss New York City and the lifelong friends I was lucky to meet and have by my side. I will miss the love that made me believe in love after all.
I’m looking up and looking ahead. I’m curious to see who I’m going to meet, where I am going to go next. I hope I won’t make the same mistakes. I hope I won’t fail to see when people are selfish. I hope I will be able to fully enjoy what Denver has to offer. That I’ll be able to fully enjoy the nature around the city. With less stress and more peace.
I’ve been dreaming about this moment, packing my bags and grabbing my cat and settling somewhere in the middle of Nature and I’m finally doing it. I’m ready for this new adventure and for whatever it may bring because Change is Uncomfortable but Necessary.
